January 7, 2003

LAST NIGHT I HAD A DREAM ABOUT HEAVEN…IT STARTED WITH PEOPLE IN A CIRCLE IN THE BACK RIGHT CORNER OF THE CHURCH OUT IN OREGON. WE WERE ALL STANDING THERE PRAYING AND WAITING LIKE WE KNEW GOD WAS ABOUT TO COME. I REMEMBER WHO I BELIEVE TO BE JACOB DRIVING A TRUCK AND HIS DAD (BRO. DILLON) SAYING WE CAN’T HAVE ANY INTERUPTIONS. SO WE KEPT PRAYING AND GOD CAME AND WE OPENED OUR EYES AND STARTED REJOICING AND SAYING HALELUAH FOR WE COULD SEE WHAT WOULD APPEAR TO BE THE GATES. THERE WERE HOUSE LIKE BUILDINGS SOME BIG SOME SMALL SOME LOOKING LIKE NORMAL HOUSES AND SOME LOOKING LIKE TRAILORS, THAT WERE WHITE. IT WAS QUIET WE BEING THE ONLY ONES WHO WERE PRAISING GOD. IT’S WEIRD THAT THE DREAM STARTED OFF WITH ALL THESE PEOPLE IN THE CIRCLE BUT THE ONLY ONES THAT I COULD SEE IN MY DREAM WERE SOME OLD FRIENDS FROM HIGH SCHOOL. AMY DEPUE DEVIN PERKINS, AND THE LAST ONE I WANT TO SAY MISTY MCKEEN BUT IT’S VERY UNCLEAR. I NEVER GOT TO SEE GOD. WE WERE SHOUTING AND SAYING HALALUAH AND REPEATING ” WE MADE IT”. MY DREAM CONTINUES….IT’S LIKE NO ONE ON EARTH KNEW THAT I WAS EVEN GONE…SO I FOUND MYSELF STANDING AT THE FRONT DOOR OF THE OREGON CHURCH GETTING READY TO GO IN FOR SERVICE…I WAS AN ANGEL I APPEARED TO BE MYSELF TO MYSELF BUT TO OTHERS APPEARED AS SOMEONE ELSE….WHEN I WAS ASKED MY NAME I SAID ANGEL..I SAT ON THE FRONT ROW…I LEANED OVER TO ASK A TALL BLACK MAN BESIDE ME..”IS IT OK IF..” AND I PAUSED NOT REALIZING THAT HE WOULD NOT UNDERSTAND…BUT TO MY SURPRISE HE REPLIED ” IT’S OK FOR ANYONE TO COME TO CHURCH” WHICH IS WHAT I WAS GOING TO ASK HIM…MY WORSHITP WAS STOPPED BY A LITTLE GIRL CRYING FOR HER MOTHER..I TURNED TO SEE MY DAUGHTER KENNEDY. THE DREAM FLIPES TO THE SCENE OF THE LORD GIVING ME 2 CHOICES..I COULD EITHER STAY IN HEAVEN WITH HIM AND FORGET ALL ABOUT THE WORRIES AND HEARTACHE HERE ON EARTH OR I COULD GO TO MY DAUGHTER AS MYSELF ONCE AGAIN AND DEAL WITH LIFE AND COMFORT MY CHILD..I CHOSE TO COME BACK..FOR THE CRY OF MY BABY GIRL WAS RIPPING MY HEART OUT…I HAVE THIS FEAR OF SOMETHING HAPPENING TO ME AND KENNEDY BEING LEFT WITHOUT HER MOTHER….I KNOW HOW SHE CRIES FOR ME AND I COULD NOT BARE TO LEAVE HER…DREAM WAS OVER…BUT I FOR SOME REASON HAD A HARD TIME WAKING UP AND WHEN I DID WAS SORT OF DISAPPOINTED THAT I WASN’T REALLY IN HEAVEN BUT HERE ON EARTH….